From Coping to Healing
Have you ever been given advice that felt completely disconnected from your reality? Like someone handed you a life raft made of paper when you’re drowning?
I sometimes feel the hopelessness, frustration, and pressure of this when sitting with clients. There are moments in my work as a therapist when I feel disillusioned. Not because I don’t believe in the process, but because I see the real challenges my clients face—challenges that can’t be solved with a simple checklist of coping skills.
How can I possibly suggest that you schedule time for journaling your feelings, practicing yoga meditation, drinking herbal teas, and doing grounding breath work in the midst of single parenting an immunocompromised infant, or while struggling to make ends meet because you’ve lost your job and don’t know where the rent money is coming from this month, or as you juggle pressures to propose to your long-term girlfriend while becoming a full-time caretaker to your mother who’s dementia is rapidly developing.
Sometimes, I wrestle with the unsettling thought: Am I really helping? Or am I just another voice suggesting strategies that feel impossible to implement?”
In these moments, the coping strategies and tools we’ve learned to “help”—the very strategies that are plastered all over social media and regurgitated on repeat everywhere you look—begin to feel invalidating and dismissive of my client’s lived experiences. These strategies begin to make me wonder if clients actually feel at fault when the things they’re told to do are not working for them.
If you’ve ever felt dismissed by well-meaning but unrealistic advice, you’re not alone. If you’ve ever felt like you are failing again or doing it wrong because it’s not working for you, you’re not alone.
Some days, deep breathing and journaling feel like small drops in an ocean of stress. More often than not, and especially in today’s high-pressure society, simple and quick coping strategies (although wildly popular) are not enough on their own. While they can be helpful, true healing often requires deeper work—exploring the emotions, patterns, and experiences that shape our struggles. That’s not to say that coping strategies aren’t effective. They have their place, as do so many forms of therapy.
The key is learning which approach is best for you under your current circumstances.
Different people—and even the same person at different times—need different things from therapy. Sometimes, talk therapy provides the space to process and feel truly heard. Other times, structured and goal-oriented approaches like CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) or ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) offer practical and clear steps for breaking free from distressing thoughts and behavioral patterns. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps us explore the deeper emotions driving our struggles, while psychodrama, art therapy, and somatic therapies use movement, creativity, and the body as pathways to healing.
There is no single “right” approach—only what feels most aligned for you in a given moment.
Therapy is about creating a space where your struggles are acknowledged without being minimized. You don’t have to “fix” everything to be worthy of support. You can feel safe to try something different than what you’re doing now without judgment. This is why therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. This is why having a range of approaches matters. Therapy isn’t about prescribing one perfect solution—it’s about finding what works for you.
This is why in my work, I prefer a holistic and integrative approach that incorporates many aspects of these approaches tailored to the needs of my client at any given moment. I predominantly draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), brief psychodynamic therapy, and attachment theory as the foundation for my work. I have also received additional training in EFT, ERP, and Gottman Level 1. All of these approaches, when infused to meet client needs, help to move you beyond surface-level solutions and into exploration of the deeper emotional and relational patterns that shape your lived experiences.
EFT helps us understand how emotions and relationships impact one’s sense of safety and connection. IFS allows us to explore the different “parts” of Self—especially the parts that feel stuck in fear, shame, or self-criticism—so greater self-compassion and healing can be fostered. Brief psychodynamic therapy brings awareness to the unconscious patterns that influence current struggles, while attachment theory helps us understand how early relationships shape current social connections. Rather than focusing solely on solutions, these approaches allow us to honor where you are, explore what’s underneath your struggles, and create meaningful, lasting change—not just short-term relief.
If you’ve ever felt like nothing is enough, I want you to know: You are enough. You don’t have to do all the things, fix all the problems, or find a perfect solution to be deserving of care and support.
If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. If you’re looking for a space to process, explore deeper emotions, and find what truly works for you, I’d love to help. Reach out here.
